Grandpa Ralph
It has been a week or so since my last blog as my heart hasn't been ready to share. Too tender or too full, I don't know.
Last Sunday morning my Mother called to tell us that Grandpa had fallen the night before and then during the night they found he had aspirated into his lungs. He was at the hospital and unresponsive. Just that evening he had asked my Mother, as he had many times before, to pray he would go home to heaven.
By Monday, Grandpa still had not responded and it became apparent that he had suffered a stroke. His kidneys began to fail and with the aspiration in his lungs, there was nothing that could have turned the situation around. So his children elected to take him off all life sustaining support and make him comfortable. My Uncle Jim was with Grandpa during this time as family prepared to journey to Iowa.
My Mother flew to Iowa on Tuesday evening and was able to spend that night, Wednesday, and Thursday morning with Grandpa. She was able to serve him by washing his face and trimming his hair. We think Grandpa's love language was physical touch. Mother and Uncle Jim were able to rub his neck, arms and hold his hands. Even though he was unresponsive, we felt that he was somewhat aware of what was going on around him. He was on morphine and hospice came in, taking care of every need and making sure there was no way he was in pain or anxious about what was going on.
Gloriously, on Thursday morning, Grandpa met Jesus face to face. He had lived his life waiting for that moment and we all rejoiced for him. He died peacefully, simply not taking his next breath. My Mother and Uncle Jim were there with him.
The week before his death was so full for my siblings and I as we watched our Mother go through the process of losing her last living parent. We also struggled with listening to the process for Grandpa as we all wanted him to be free and it seemed to take so long. Four days is short to some, but last week it was a very long four days for us.
We all started the process of travel arrangements and began the journey to our homeland....where it all began.
My family comes from a line of farmers who worked the family farm in Waterloo, Iowa. Uncle Jim still lives and works the farm and it is a wonderful haven for us all to visit and be reminded of our roots. The roads from Dallas to Waterloo have been traveled many times over the last 22 years as we have gone back and forth for visits, reunions, weddings and funerals. Four and a half years ago the entire family convened at the farm, once again, for Grandma's funeral.
We spent five days planning, running errands, visiting, attending the visitation and funeral, eating, cleaning up from eating, and eating again. Grandpa has 13 grandchildren thus we had a big crowd everywhere we went. It was such a fun time to visit and reconnect.
Now, I find myself writing more about details and prolonging my narration of my Grandpa. Why? I don't know, maybe I don't feel I can do him justice through my words, maybe I don't want to revisit the emotion, either way - I feel hesitant to share. Yet, I want to and know that it is good for me to...plus I want you to know what a great man my Grandpa was.
I was asked to write the Grandchildren's Memories for the funeral service and I think I am going to begin by letting you read our memories.
Last Sunday morning my Mother called to tell us that Grandpa had fallen the night before and then during the night they found he had aspirated into his lungs. He was at the hospital and unresponsive. Just that evening he had asked my Mother, as he had many times before, to pray he would go home to heaven.
By Monday, Grandpa still had not responded and it became apparent that he had suffered a stroke. His kidneys began to fail and with the aspiration in his lungs, there was nothing that could have turned the situation around. So his children elected to take him off all life sustaining support and make him comfortable. My Uncle Jim was with Grandpa during this time as family prepared to journey to Iowa.
My Mother flew to Iowa on Tuesday evening and was able to spend that night, Wednesday, and Thursday morning with Grandpa. She was able to serve him by washing his face and trimming his hair. We think Grandpa's love language was physical touch. Mother and Uncle Jim were able to rub his neck, arms and hold his hands. Even though he was unresponsive, we felt that he was somewhat aware of what was going on around him. He was on morphine and hospice came in, taking care of every need and making sure there was no way he was in pain or anxious about what was going on.
Gloriously, on Thursday morning, Grandpa met Jesus face to face. He had lived his life waiting for that moment and we all rejoiced for him. He died peacefully, simply not taking his next breath. My Mother and Uncle Jim were there with him.
The week before his death was so full for my siblings and I as we watched our Mother go through the process of losing her last living parent. We also struggled with listening to the process for Grandpa as we all wanted him to be free and it seemed to take so long. Four days is short to some, but last week it was a very long four days for us.
We all started the process of travel arrangements and began the journey to our homeland....where it all began.
My family comes from a line of farmers who worked the family farm in Waterloo, Iowa. Uncle Jim still lives and works the farm and it is a wonderful haven for us all to visit and be reminded of our roots. The roads from Dallas to Waterloo have been traveled many times over the last 22 years as we have gone back and forth for visits, reunions, weddings and funerals. Four and a half years ago the entire family convened at the farm, once again, for Grandma's funeral.
We spent five days planning, running errands, visiting, attending the visitation and funeral, eating, cleaning up from eating, and eating again. Grandpa has 13 grandchildren thus we had a big crowd everywhere we went. It was such a fun time to visit and reconnect.
Now, I find myself writing more about details and prolonging my narration of my Grandpa. Why? I don't know, maybe I don't feel I can do him justice through my words, maybe I don't want to revisit the emotion, either way - I feel hesitant to share. Yet, I want to and know that it is good for me to...plus I want you to know what a great man my Grandpa was.
I was asked to write the Grandchildren's Memories for the funeral service and I think I am going to begin by letting you read our memories.
Grandpa Grady, Grandpa, Grandpa Ralph and Great-Grandpa…endearing names holding special meaning for each of us – Grandpa’s 13 grandchildren and 13 great-grandchildren.
Grandpa led a full life with Christ as his guide, valuing the commitment of marriage, family, hard work, dedication, discipline and integrity.
Sharing the salvation message, worship through hymns, scripture memorization, prayer and generous giving were high priorities in Grandpa’s life and his daily walk shown brightly, to all of us, with these passions.
Each one of us knew, wherever we were in our lives, that somewhere Grandpa was praying for each one of us, by name, each day. This commitment became a sense of security to each of us.
Over the last several days, as we’ve rejoiced for Grandpa in his long-awaited arrival home, memories have flowed through all our minds.
Memories of…
Grandpa’s visits to Warsaw for Seminary Board meetings. What a special time for granddaughters to look forward to a visit from Grandpa complete with oranges and grapefruit from Florida.
The twinkle in Grandpa’s sparkling blue eyes and his large, strong and capable hands.
Looking for shells with Grandpa and Grandma on Sanibel Island creating such precious memories.
Grandpa’s ability to drive, what seemed like, 15 miles an hour UNDER the speed limit, making short drives seem extremely long and making us all wish Grandma would get behind the wheel and go her usual 15-30 miles OVER the speed limit.
Grandpa was always willing to help anyone who needed helping, no matter what the circumstances.
Grandpa always woke up SO early and we all share memories of finding him in his office sorting through paperwork or hammering away that early on a project at our house, or we would find him reading his Bible in those quiet morning hours.
All of his grandchildren cherish fond memories of many McDonalds breakfasts and lunches.
Grandpa’s ability to love and eat any food along with his ability to eat several different kinds of foods in one bite as he cleared the last few morsels on a grandchild’s plate.
Grandpa’s wonderful sense of humor that brought about such a fond and familiar chuckle which shook his whole chest. We were all fond of the twinkle in his blue eyes when he was smiling or laughing.
All of his grandchildren have visual memories of Grandpa in his truck, cap on, striped overalls, and shirt with a pocket full of paper, pen and several Four Spiritual Laws books. The best place to be was sandwiched in the front of that truck with siblings or cousins out with Grandpa, headed out to mow a lawn, work on the farm, or go by the Village to visit. There was a smell and feel when in the front of that pick-up truck that was hard to beat.
Fond memories of visits to Florida and being proudly shown off to Grandpa’s friends.
Grandpa’s remarkable ability to fall asleep, almost anywhere. A trait which seems to have been passed on to his youngest son.
Grandpa’s love for John Deere tractors.
Memories of thrashing with the Amish with Grandpa.
Listening to Grandpa sing loudly in church, rarely on key, but wholeheartedly.
Grandpa’s magic button on his face, which, when pushed would magically make his false teeth pop out. Lots of laughter and giggles were produced by that magic button.
All of Grandpa’s grandchildren share the memories of watching him build and create. Whether it was a bedroom in the basement, a porch on the house, a garage or addition to the house, Grandpa was the carpenter that we all loved to watch and help. Many of these memories spurred on a passion for building in some of his grandsons.
Grandpa’s sweet wet kisses.
Grandpa’s precious support and prayerful commitment to our marriages.
Hours spent straightening buckets of nails for Grandpa to reuse.
Grandpa’s way with people, his ability to stand up and voice what is right, his business sense, his desire to help those in need gives all of us the courage to live our lives this way.
Grandpa’s generosity with his time. There were times he could be found mowing his granddaughter’s lawn even though his feet were being covered with dog poo, building flower boxes or seeding grass with a board chained around his waist to make the yard level.
A grandson with the special memory of driving a tractor for the first time sitting next to Grandpa.
Watching Wheel of Fortune and the Price is Right while Grandpa and Grandma sat in their blue recliners.
Grandpa had such a love for farming and would share that knowledge with his grandchildren.
Grandpa’s tender way with Grandma in the later years of their marriage as he displayed patience, humor and love.
Grandpa was a man who created a strong and rich heritage for each of us. A legacy we all acknowledge as a rare and precious gift in this world. A gift we strive to create for our families, strengthening with time, as we carry on that same legacy.
Grandpa led a full life with Christ as his guide, valuing the commitment of marriage, family, hard work, dedication, discipline and integrity.
Sharing the salvation message, worship through hymns, scripture memorization, prayer and generous giving were high priorities in Grandpa’s life and his daily walk shown brightly, to all of us, with these passions.
Each one of us knew, wherever we were in our lives, that somewhere Grandpa was praying for each one of us, by name, each day. This commitment became a sense of security to each of us.
Over the last several days, as we’ve rejoiced for Grandpa in his long-awaited arrival home, memories have flowed through all our minds.
Memories of…
Grandpa’s visits to Warsaw for Seminary Board meetings. What a special time for granddaughters to look forward to a visit from Grandpa complete with oranges and grapefruit from Florida.
The twinkle in Grandpa’s sparkling blue eyes and his large, strong and capable hands.
Looking for shells with Grandpa and Grandma on Sanibel Island creating such precious memories.
Grandpa’s ability to drive, what seemed like, 15 miles an hour UNDER the speed limit, making short drives seem extremely long and making us all wish Grandma would get behind the wheel and go her usual 15-30 miles OVER the speed limit.
Grandpa was always willing to help anyone who needed helping, no matter what the circumstances.
Grandpa always woke up SO early and we all share memories of finding him in his office sorting through paperwork or hammering away that early on a project at our house, or we would find him reading his Bible in those quiet morning hours.
All of his grandchildren cherish fond memories of many McDonalds breakfasts and lunches.
Grandpa’s ability to love and eat any food along with his ability to eat several different kinds of foods in one bite as he cleared the last few morsels on a grandchild’s plate.
Grandpa’s wonderful sense of humor that brought about such a fond and familiar chuckle which shook his whole chest. We were all fond of the twinkle in his blue eyes when he was smiling or laughing.
All of his grandchildren have visual memories of Grandpa in his truck, cap on, striped overalls, and shirt with a pocket full of paper, pen and several Four Spiritual Laws books. The best place to be was sandwiched in the front of that truck with siblings or cousins out with Grandpa, headed out to mow a lawn, work on the farm, or go by the Village to visit. There was a smell and feel when in the front of that pick-up truck that was hard to beat.
Fond memories of visits to Florida and being proudly shown off to Grandpa’s friends.
Grandpa’s remarkable ability to fall asleep, almost anywhere. A trait which seems to have been passed on to his youngest son.
Grandpa’s love for John Deere tractors.
Memories of thrashing with the Amish with Grandpa.
Listening to Grandpa sing loudly in church, rarely on key, but wholeheartedly.
Grandpa’s magic button on his face, which, when pushed would magically make his false teeth pop out. Lots of laughter and giggles were produced by that magic button.
All of Grandpa’s grandchildren share the memories of watching him build and create. Whether it was a bedroom in the basement, a porch on the house, a garage or addition to the house, Grandpa was the carpenter that we all loved to watch and help. Many of these memories spurred on a passion for building in some of his grandsons.
Grandpa’s sweet wet kisses.
Grandpa’s precious support and prayerful commitment to our marriages.
Hours spent straightening buckets of nails for Grandpa to reuse.
Grandpa’s way with people, his ability to stand up and voice what is right, his business sense, his desire to help those in need gives all of us the courage to live our lives this way.
Grandpa’s generosity with his time. There were times he could be found mowing his granddaughter’s lawn even though his feet were being covered with dog poo, building flower boxes or seeding grass with a board chained around his waist to make the yard level.
A grandson with the special memory of driving a tractor for the first time sitting next to Grandpa.
Watching Wheel of Fortune and the Price is Right while Grandpa and Grandma sat in their blue recliners.
Grandpa had such a love for farming and would share that knowledge with his grandchildren.
Grandpa’s tender way with Grandma in the later years of their marriage as he displayed patience, humor and love.
Grandpa was a man who created a strong and rich heritage for each of us. A legacy we all acknowledge as a rare and precious gift in this world. A gift we strive to create for our families, strengthening with time, as we carry on that same legacy.
As I reread these memories shared at the funeral I think, wow, you just received the complete picture I wanted to share.
My family is strong in heritage and an incredible legacy is present for each of us to carry on in our own families. How many can say that? Not everyone can and I feel so fortunate and blessed to have been given such an incredible man to guide our family for so many years. I am rejoicing for Grandpa's freedom and my pain comes from the selfish parts of me that just don't want to let go of what is familiar and safe and strong and so vividly present in my life. I've lived 30 years with the above memories as a constant...probably taken for granted. Now, as I sit here in my home and think through, once again, that these things have forever changed and my steady is gone, it feels lonely, different, and a little scary.
Fortunately, my heavenly Father willingly fills that void for me and allows me to continue on, still allowing me to feel the void that Grandpa leaves, but with the knowledge and security of His love, His familiarity, His safety, and His strength.
My family is strong in heritage and an incredible legacy is present for each of us to carry on in our own families. How many can say that? Not everyone can and I feel so fortunate and blessed to have been given such an incredible man to guide our family for so many years. I am rejoicing for Grandpa's freedom and my pain comes from the selfish parts of me that just don't want to let go of what is familiar and safe and strong and so vividly present in my life. I've lived 30 years with the above memories as a constant...probably taken for granted. Now, as I sit here in my home and think through, once again, that these things have forever changed and my steady is gone, it feels lonely, different, and a little scary.
Fortunately, my heavenly Father willingly fills that void for me and allows me to continue on, still allowing me to feel the void that Grandpa leaves, but with the knowledge and security of His love, His familiarity, His safety, and His strength.
My family, years ago, at McDonalds before starting our trip back to Georgia.
2007
Elizabeth, I just sniffled all the way throgh your post. I feel so bad that I couldn't be there and so I'm eager to be in on all the memory recalling as much as possible. The family picture in front of McDonalds is so priceless. That is just the coolest memory of a picture ever. Mike just reminded me that we met eyes for the very first time in his driveway on our blind date with your folks. His farm adds another significant memory to us- along with the tribute that I already wrote to him. He was one very special man who affected many lives.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, Elizabeth. Thank you for taking the time and emotional energy to put this all together. I wish I had a blog to share what my heart is so full of, too. Mother.
ReplyDeleteYou guys have been on my heart for the last week or so. Thanks for sharing.... Hugs from Boston.
ReplyDeleteThis is truly beautiful Elizabeth! Thank you so much for sharing. What an incredible legacy it is.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful testimony of God's faithfulness, love, and care for His children through the gift of family. Most people don't have that blessing as deep as your family does, yet many of us have been embraced by all of you, enabling us to experience it as well. Thanks for sharing with us! We will continue to pray for you all as the adjustment to a "new normal" is made in the coming days. Jill Jones
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you were able to post about it. I know it's been something that has been on your heart to do. What a wonderful job. I of course love that picture of us all together. :)
ReplyDelete